Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
