I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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