It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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