I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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