Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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