I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
