You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
