DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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