I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
