I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize