Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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