Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
