Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its not stalking. its research.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
