VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
