Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
