my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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