We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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