theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
