I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
