Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
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I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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