you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
