I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
