it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
as a side note pls kill me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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