I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
