Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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