i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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