She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
