i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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