You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
