i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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