Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
