i need an iv and a liver transplant
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
