It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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