I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
