I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
