i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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