Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
