yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
