dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
