I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
