big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
