i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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