I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
