White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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