I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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