i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
