i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize