nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
