i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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