I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
