she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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