ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
