this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
