so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
