just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
